What Motherhood Has Taught Me: A Series Pt. 6

Guest Blog Post By: Ayris Temidara

Motherhood has taught me that I cannot control anything. I cannot control feelings in my kids. I cannot control their emotions. I cannot control outcomes. I cannot control the future. The best thing I can do as a mother is to let go of the idea of control and be authentic to myself. I do not need to perform for my kids to make them think I am someone or something I am not. It’s exhausting, futile, creates unrealistic expectations, and possibly postures of entitlement.

Well then, what does being an authentic mother look like for me practically speaking? Simply put, it means that I do not participate in activities that I do not want to do or like to do to make feelings of happiness in my kids.

It means taking time to figure out what is life giving and nurturing to MY mind, body, and spirit, and inviting my children into those activities with me. Spending my weekends at sporting events for my kids, I do not like to do that, therefore, I do not do it, and that is okay! Playing pretend games, I do not like them, therefore, I do not play them, and that’s okay! Reading any and every story, sometimes a dozen times, I love that, so my kids and I read books together often. Going for long walks outside or to new places with my kids, yes please! I do these things because they bring me joy and when I want to share that joy, I invite the kids to join me. I want them to experience my joy authentically so that they can recognize authentic joy in themselves.

Motherhood is teaching me that letting go of control by sharing my genuine self is the best example I can set for my children. Motherhood has taught me that being a mom is in some ways more about me than it is about my kids, and that’s okay!