I want to hold her and protect her forever.
It was a lot easier to imagine doing that when she was this small. Now that she’s 10, I’m becoming painfully aware that I won’t always be able to shield her from all the world wants to throw at her.
This week in parenting offered me a gut punch like one I haven’t felt in a while. While attempting to clean up our guest room/office/place where all of our mess ends up, I came across a list of goals she’d made and #1 on that list read, “Get Thinner.” My world came to a screeching halt and I immediately felt like someone knocked the wind out of me. I didn’t know what to do with those words written down in her innocent little pink hand-writing.
We do NOT talk about weight in our house. “Thin” and “fat” are words that are right up there with “stupid” in our home. We. Just. Don’t. Say. Them. Being healthy and feeling well inside are what we celebrate. Not body type and outward appearances.
I froze. And then I silently sobbed.
I have worked OVER time to make sure that our girls know that what makes you beautiful on the outside is the character that you possess on the inside.
I wear the badge of “Helicopter Mom” given to me by some friends with pride. I watch every show or movie that they want to watch before they are allowed to watch it to make sure that the messages being shared align with the messages being taught and caught in our home.
I read the synopsis of books that they are interested in reading before they read them to make sure that nothing inappropriate is slipped in to a title deemed “innocent”.
I👏🏽do👏🏽the👏🏽hard👏🏽work👏🏽to👏🏽make👏🏽sure👏🏽the👏🏽crappy👏🏽stuff👏🏽stays👏🏽out!
And yet, somehow, it still got in. 😔
I’m not naive enough to think that my girls will never be exposed to “the bad stuff”, but I just thought I had a little more time. A little more time to shield her. A little more time to protect her. A little more time for her to not doubt the beautiful design that the Lord created and called “good”. Her. My baby.
After I pulled myself together and took several breaths in, we sat down and talked about the words scribbled across that page. There were tears. Lots of them. There were hugs. Even more of those. And there was the unpacking of what those words truly meant to her and where they had come fromt. There was reassurance shared and an abundance of affirmation given.
I walked away from that conversation and from a life-giving conversation over breakfast with a friend yesterday, reminded that all we can do as parents is lay the foundation for our kiddos in hopes that we do a good enough job for them to be able to navigate through the lies and ugliness that the world has to offer them and tethers them back to the truth that God has spoken over them. And hopefully that’s enough. It has to be enough.
I know that this won’t be the last time that the topic of body image will be the reason for one of our conversations. As I told her, it’s an ongoing conversation that we can revisit as often as she’d like. But I want to be more equipped. I want to feel more prepared for the next time. I want her to feel more prepared for the next time.
Books are her love language and have helped her unpack some hard issues in the past. If you have any recommendations for age-appropriate books that she can read (which I’ll read first 😉) that speak to body image, celebrating all body types, how her value and worth aren’t calculated from her body type, or anything else along those lines, can you please share them in the comments below?
And if you feel so inclined, would you take a few moments out of your day to cover us in prayer? Parenting definitely isn’t for the faint of heart, but with the right village, we can definitely make it through. 💙
MAMMA ARIANNA 